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Author: Josh Walker
Date:  
To: System undo crew
Subject: Re: [unSYSTEM] Bitcoin, Startups, and Suicide: Being an Entrepreneur is Fucking Hard
The quote is that hate leads to suffering, btw.


On Fri, Aug 29, 2014 at 4:13 PM, Damian <i3inary@???> wrote:

> When you use your consciousness to solve big problems you are forced to
> look at big problems. Humans get depressed and usually fearful/pessimistic
> when they can't solve the problems in their lives.
>
> Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side...oh
> wait, what a paradox considering the unSYSTEM project name tendencies.
>
> Big problems just take lots of time and energy to solve usually...finding
> others working on the same problems as you is a huge support system.
>
> The most brilliant minds all seem to go through this when they are
> focusing on big problems:
> [Dangerous Knowledge 5 part series] -
> http://watchdocumentary.org/watch/dangerous-knowledge-video_417b79d43.html
>
> I Love all your spirits and energy output. Thanks for being!
>
> Life isn't that serious and no one makes it out alive. Stay calm and
> have fun.
>
>
>
> On Fri, Aug 29, 2014 at 1:50 PM, Jason King <
> beinghomelessisnotacrime@???> wrote:
>
>> No problem. Needed to be said.
>> On Aug 29, 2014 4:45 PM, "Christopher Franko" <chrisjfranko@???>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Reallly great read. Thanks man, I needed to see this.
>>>
>>>
>>> On 29 August 2014 15:10, Julia Tourianski <juliatourianski@???>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> It pained me to read this. I just had a similar conversation with Blake
>>>> Anderson about all these issues just yesterday. But like with that
>>>> conversation, and reading this, it ended with incredible positivity.
>>>>
>>>> Charlie: I'm glad Amir and I visiting you made you happy for at least
>>>> that day. I really appreciate you saying that. You've gone through some
>>>> hard shit and those moment are vital to have.
>>>>
>>>> I think the key things we need to recall is family and friends. I'm
>>>> blessed with an amazing family, who supported me through my hard times
>>>> about 8 months ago. Not everyone has that, but you CAN choose your friends,
>>>> and this community is full of incredible people.
>>>>
>>>> I'm not one to bond with people quickly. Friendship to me has always
>>>> been difficult for me because I don't take it lightly. In the past few
>>>> months (for I am but a small child in this movement) I've met the smartest,
>>>> most inspirational people ever. Not only met, but became very good friends
>>>> with.
>>>>
>>>> So I'll end by saying this: YOU ALL ARE TOO SMART TO KILL YOURSELF. Do
>>>> the world a favor and stay alive please.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> For the secrets and lies, my PGP key:
>>>> https://libbitcoin.dyne.org/julia_tourianski.pgp.asc
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> On Thu, Aug 28, 2014 at 2:18 PM, Charlie 'Charles' Shrem <
>>>> cshrem@???> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> I've been battling depression the past few months, hardcore. When they
>>>>> put me in solitary I thought my life was over.
>>>>>
>>>>> I have all of you my friends to thank for keeping my spirits up and
>>>>> Bitcoin for giving me a propose. I think back on the good times, eating
>>>>> with Amir and Julia on my porch and partying with Jason in Atlanta.
>>>>>
>>>>> Let the good times roll :)
>>>>>
>>>>> On Thursday, August 28, 2014, Amir Taaki <genjix@???> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> I wanted to kill myself over Bitcoinica. It was a very bad moment...
>>>>>>
>>>>>> On 28/08/14 14:11, Jason King wrote:
>>>>>> > For over a week now, I’ve been trying to write a year in review
>>>>>> piece
>>>>>> > for Satoshi Forest. The words, which usually just flow like a spigot
>>>>>> > when I’m passionate about something, seem to just dribble out. And
>>>>>> what
>>>>>> > little eeks by is hardly print worthy. Maybe it’s just writer’s
>>>>>> block?
>>>>>> > Writer’s block happens. Or maybe I’m not as passionate about Satoshi
>>>>>> > Forest as I used to be?
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > But, I am passionate about Satoshi Forest, perhaps more than I ever
>>>>>> have
>>>>>> > been. And writer’s block, if it is the culprit, cannot explain why I
>>>>>> > haven’t responded to Elizabeth Ploshay’s ALS Ice Bucket Challenge,
>>>>>> in a
>>>>>> > timely fashion. I guess I’ll have to donate now. You see it’s not
>>>>>> just
>>>>>> > the Satoshi Forest year in review, it’s everything. Emails from
>>>>>> friends
>>>>>> > I haven’t responded to, phone calls I let go to voicemail, new
>>>>>> endeavors
>>>>>> > at Sean’s Outpost I let sit unannounced
>>>>>> > (http://blockchain.satoshiforest.com/). And then it hits me. I’ve
>>>>>> been
>>>>>> > here before.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > I’m really depressed.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > And it seems to be going around.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Since the tragic suicide of Robin Williams, four (4) people close
>>>>>> to me
>>>>>> > have also tried to kill themselves. One succeeded. An anecdotal
>>>>>> survey
>>>>>> > of my friends has seen an equal uptick in the number of people
>>>>>> talking
>>>>>> > about or attempting suicide. It’s been really disturbing.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > In the preparations for the Bitcoin in the Beltway conference this
>>>>>> past
>>>>>> > June, I had one of the more surreal conversations of my life. An
>>>>>> east
>>>>>> > coast sales director for Marriott called me wanting to know if
>>>>>> bitcoin
>>>>>> > was linked to suicide. They had heard of the tragic death of Autumn
>>>>>> > Radtke in March
>>>>>> > (
>>>>>> http://nypost.com/2014/03/06/bitcoin-firm-ceo-jumped-to-her-death-neighbor/
>>>>>> )
>>>>>> > and were concerned about hosting a conference for a technology that
>>>>>> was
>>>>>> > making people kill themselves. I was sure he was joking. He was
>>>>>> not. The
>>>>>> > conversation I had with him must have allayed his fears.
>>>>>> #BitcoinBeltway
>>>>>> > went great, can’t wait to do it again next year.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Obviously, bitcoin does not cause suicide. And while we are quick to
>>>>>> > sticky a “suicide prevention hotline” when the price crashes,
>>>>>> bitcoin is
>>>>>> > not causing depression. What we may want to look into is something
>>>>>> that
>>>>>> > is not bitcoin related, but more something that comes part and
>>>>>> parcel
>>>>>> > with “bitcoiners”.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > The woes of entrepreneurship and startup culture.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Being an entrepreneur is fucking hard. Really hard. Most people
>>>>>> don’t
>>>>>> > even attempt it.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > It might not feel that way to you, but likely that’s because you
>>>>>> > surround yourself with other entrepreneurs. Your friends work at
>>>>>> > startups. Your trips are to startup conferences and conventions.
>>>>>> Your
>>>>>> > news feed is r/bitcoin and hacker news. You are firmly in the echo
>>>>>> chamber.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Most people will never try and build a product or company. So most
>>>>>> > people will never experience what it is like to fear you won’t make
>>>>>> > payroll and someone else will not be able to pay their rent because
>>>>>> of you.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Most people will never know how difficult it is to raise money. To
>>>>>> get
>>>>>> > someone else to believe in you enough to open their checkbook and
>>>>>> > support you financially. The hours you spend and the mental strain
>>>>>> that
>>>>>> > comes from hearing “No” again and again and again. And if you get a
>>>>>> > “Yes” the pressure doesn’t dissipate! It increases! Now it’s your
>>>>>> crazy
>>>>>> > idea and someone elses money you’re responsible for.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Being an entrepreneur is really hard.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > And we are really hard on ourselves. We are afraid to show any
>>>>>> weakness.
>>>>>> > Because we’ve been taught being weak or vulnerable is to be
>>>>>> shunned. If
>>>>>> > someone asks you how your company is doing “We’re killing. it.”
>>>>>> probably
>>>>>> > comes off your lips before you’ve even processed the question.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > It is statistically impossible for everyone to always be “killing
>>>>>> it”.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > But ask at your next mixer or meetup and almost everyone will be
>>>>>> > “killing it”.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > And that pressure to succeed, to perform, to win is immense. And I
>>>>>> think
>>>>>> > that pressure may be even worse in bitcoin.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Not to everyone, but to a lot of bitcoin early adopters, and
>>>>>> especially
>>>>>> > to a lot of early bitcoin entrepreneurs, bitcoin is a promise. A
>>>>>> glimpse
>>>>>> > of a better world free from the inequalities brought by our legacy
>>>>>> > financial system. So if you fail in bitcoin, it is easy to feel
>>>>>> that you
>>>>>> > are failing on that promise too.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > I’ve felt that way. Felt that if I screw up I am screwing it up for
>>>>>> > every non-profit and charity. That they will somehow not get the
>>>>>> > benefits of bitcoin because I failed. I see it in others. Just a
>>>>>> week
>>>>>> > ago at #Cryptolina I talked with a group of brilliant entrepreneurs
>>>>>> who
>>>>>> > were convinced that if they didn’t beat an incumbent payment
>>>>>> solution to
>>>>>> > market, they had lost the war. And that whole segment of the market
>>>>>> > would NEVER benefit from cryptocurrency.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Being a bitcoin entrepreneur is hard.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > And I don’t have the answers to how to deal with all the pressure
>>>>>> and
>>>>>> > depression that come from doing what we do. But I have learned a
>>>>>> couple
>>>>>> > of things and maybe someone else that is experiencing depression or
>>>>>> > having dark thoughts can read this and gain some value from what
>>>>>> I’ve
>>>>>> > learned. And even better, maybe someone that has dealt with
>>>>>> depression
>>>>>> > in the past can riff on what I’ve said and provide some insight
>>>>>> into how
>>>>>> > they cope.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > 1) You are not alone.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > When you are depressed, it seems like everyone else has it all
>>>>>> together
>>>>>> > and you are the anomaly. That’s not true. They probably don’t have
>>>>>> their
>>>>>> > shit together either. And everyone has problems we don’t see.
>>>>>> Everyone.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Some of the greatest entrepreneurs and investors of all time have
>>>>>> had
>>>>>> > brutal fights with depression and suicidal thoughts.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > READ:
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> http://www.inc.com/magazine/201309/jessica-bruder/psychological-price-of-entrepreneurship.html
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > 2) Bitcoin needs you and it doesn’t need you. And that’s ok.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Bitcoin needs you. It really does. But it doesn’t need only you, it
>>>>>> > needs all of us. You are not the single point of failure. Bitcoins
>>>>>> > success is just a decentralized as the blockchain. So give yourself
>>>>>> a
>>>>>> > break. It’s ok to make mistakes and it’s ok to fail. It’s even ok to
>>>>>> > fail spectacularly.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Think back to how many times bitcoin has been declared dead. How
>>>>>> many
>>>>>> > times has the price crashed? How many times has a major bitcoin
>>>>>> > institution been corrupted/hacked/found to be a scam?
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > And yet, here we are. An you are here too.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > 3) It is ok to ask for help.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > This is hard to learn. We come from a self sufficient culture. And
>>>>>> if
>>>>>> > you ask for help, people will realize that you are not as awesome as
>>>>>> > they thought you were...BULLSHIT. Asking for help has ZERO bearing
>>>>>> on
>>>>>> > how awesome a person you are. In fact, your friends WANT TO HELP
>>>>>> YOU.
>>>>>> > Being there for you in a moment of crisis is something your friends
>>>>>> are
>>>>>> > probably really down for. But if you ignore them or won’t tell them
>>>>>> you
>>>>>> > are having problems it is really difficult for them to help. Talk to
>>>>>> > someone. If all else fails you can always call…
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > I know all of this might not make a difference. When you are caught
>>>>>> up
>>>>>> > in your head in the middle of a depressive episode nothing seems to
>>>>>> > help. Try to find something that you can concentrate on just to get
>>>>>> you
>>>>>> > thru the worst of it. For me, I go play with my kids. It helps me.
>>>>>> > Sometimes more than others.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > If you are feeling down, try to talk to someone. And if you see
>>>>>> someone
>>>>>> > feeling down, try to lend a supportive ear.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > Bitcoin needs you alive.
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> >
>>>>>> > _______________________________________________
>>>>>> > unSYSTEM mailing list: http://unsystem.net
>>>>>> > https://mailinglists.dyne.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/unsystem
>>>>>> >
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Thanks,
>>>>>
>>>>> Charlie
>>>>>
>>>>> CharlieShrem.com | *Please **encrypt messages with my PGP key
>>>>> <http://charlieshrem.com/contact/>*
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>>> unSYSTEM mailing list: http://unsystem.net
>>>>> https://mailinglists.dyne.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/unsystem
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> _______________________________________________
>>>> unSYSTEM mailing list: http://unsystem.net
>>>> https://mailinglists.dyne.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/unsystem
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
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>>> https://mailinglists.dyne.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/unsystem
>>>
>>>
>> _______________________________________________
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>>
>>
>
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