Hi

> Would someone be able to outline for the unknowing what all actually
> is required? (I am very much wanting to get away from outside product
> that is selling me down the road - ie like the alphabet (soup)
> company!).

If you want to host your own email server you would need:

1 - a system with a static IP and reasonable connectivity
2 - a DNS name (MX record, reverse, possibly spf, ...)
3 - a MTA (postfix, exim, ...)
4 - and your mail client MUA (mutt, thunderbird, ...)

If you want to experiment first, find a spare computer or
set up a container - that doesn't have to be on the proper
internet yet. Then do the following to achieve points 3 and 4:

su
apt-get install postfix mutt
vim /etc/postfix/main.cf
adduser a
adduser b
su - a
mutt b
exit
tail /var/log/mail.log
su - b
mutt

The line editing main.cf is a large topic, but postfix has
pretty substantial documentation, and the distribution defaults
should get you going too... Once that is set up you could try
using multiple computers on a lan, or move on to points 1 and 2.

regards

marc