It pained me to read this. I just had a similar conversation with Blake
Anderson about all these issues just yesterday. But like with that
conversation, and reading this, it ended with incredible positivity.

Charlie: I'm glad Amir and I visiting you made you happy for at least that
day. I really appreciate you saying that. You've gone through some hard
shit and those moment are vital to have.

I think the key things we need to recall is family and friends. I'm blessed
with an amazing family, who supported me through my hard times about 8
months ago. Not everyone has that, but you CAN choose your friends, and
this community is full of incredible people.

I'm not one to bond with people quickly. Friendship to me has always been
difficult for me because I don't take it lightly. In the past few months
(for I am but a small child in this movement) I've met the smartest, most
inspirational people ever. Not only met, but became very good friends with.

So I'll end by saying this: YOU ALL ARE TOO SMART TO KILL YOURSELF. Do the
world a favor and stay alive please.









For the secrets and lies, my PGP key:
https://libbitcoin.dyne.org/julia_tourianski.pgp.asc


On Thu, Aug 28, 2014 at 2:18 PM, Charlie 'Charles' Shrem <cshrem@???>
wrote:

> I've been battling depression the past few months, hardcore. When they put
> me in solitary I thought my life was over.
>
> I have all of you my friends to thank for keeping my spirits up and
> Bitcoin for giving me a propose. I think back on the good times, eating
> with Amir and Julia on my porch and partying with Jason in Atlanta.
>
> Let the good times roll :)
>
> On Thursday, August 28, 2014, Amir Taaki <genjix@???> wrote:
>
>> I wanted to kill myself over Bitcoinica. It was a very bad moment...
>>
>> On 28/08/14 14:11, Jason King wrote:
>> > For over a week now, I’ve been trying to write a year in review piece
>> > for Satoshi Forest. The words, which usually just flow like a spigot
>> > when I’m passionate about something, seem to just dribble out. And what
>> > little eeks by is hardly print worthy. Maybe it’s just writer’s block?
>> > Writer’s block happens. Or maybe I’m not as passionate about Satoshi
>> > Forest as I used to be?
>> >
>> > But, I am passionate about Satoshi Forest, perhaps more than I ever have
>> > been. And writer’s block, if it is the culprit, cannot explain why I
>> > haven’t responded to Elizabeth Ploshay’s ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, in a
>> > timely fashion. I guess I’ll have to donate now. You see it’s not just
>> > the Satoshi Forest year in review, it’s everything. Emails from friends
>> > I haven’t responded to, phone calls I let go to voicemail, new endeavors
>> > at Sean’s Outpost I let sit unannounced
>> > (http://blockchain.satoshiforest.com/). And then it hits me. I’ve been
>> > here before.
>> >
>> > I’m really depressed.
>> >
>> > And it seems to be going around.
>> >
>> > Since the tragic suicide of Robin Williams, four (4) people close to me
>> > have also tried to kill themselves. One succeeded. An anecdotal survey
>> > of my friends has seen an equal uptick in the number of people talking
>> > about or attempting suicide. It’s been really disturbing.
>> >
>> > In the preparations for the Bitcoin in the Beltway conference this past
>> > June, I had one of the more surreal conversations of my life. An east
>> > coast sales director for Marriott called me wanting to know if bitcoin
>> > was linked to suicide. They had heard of the tragic death of Autumn
>> > Radtke in March
>> > (
>> http://nypost.com/2014/03/06/bitcoin-firm-ceo-jumped-to-her-death-neighbor/
>> )
>> > and were concerned about hosting a conference for a technology that was
>> > making people kill themselves. I was sure he was joking. He was not. The
>> > conversation I had with him must have allayed his fears. #BitcoinBeltway
>> > went great, can’t wait to do it again next year.
>> >
>> > Obviously, bitcoin does not cause suicide. And while we are quick to
>> > sticky a “suicide prevention hotline” when the price crashes, bitcoin is
>> > not causing depression. What we may want to look into is something that
>> > is not bitcoin related, but more something that comes part and parcel
>> > with “bitcoiners”.
>> >
>> > The woes of entrepreneurship and startup culture.
>> >
>> > Being an entrepreneur is fucking hard. Really hard. Most people don’t
>> > even attempt it.
>> >
>> > It might not feel that way to you, but likely that’s because you
>> > surround yourself with other entrepreneurs. Your friends work at
>> > startups. Your trips are to startup conferences and conventions. Your
>> > news feed is r/bitcoin and hacker news. You are firmly in the echo
>> chamber.
>> >
>> > Most people will never try and build a product or company. So most
>> > people will never experience what it is like to fear you won’t make
>> > payroll and someone else will not be able to pay their rent because of
>> you.
>> >
>> > Most people will never know how difficult it is to raise money. To get
>> > someone else to believe in you enough to open their checkbook and
>> > support you financially. The hours you spend and the mental strain that
>> > comes from hearing “No” again and again and again. And if you get a
>> > “Yes” the pressure doesn’t dissipate! It increases! Now it’s your crazy
>> > idea and someone elses money you’re responsible for.
>> >
>> > Being an entrepreneur is really hard.
>> >
>> > And we are really hard on ourselves. We are afraid to show any weakness.
>> > Because we’ve been taught being weak or vulnerable is to be shunned. If
>> > someone asks you how your company is doing “We’re killing. it.” probably
>> > comes off your lips before you’ve even processed the question.
>> >
>> > It is statistically impossible for everyone to always be “killing it”.
>> >
>> > But ask at your next mixer or meetup and almost everyone will be
>> > “killing it”.
>> >
>> > And that pressure to succeed, to perform, to win is immense. And I think
>> > that pressure may be even worse in bitcoin.
>> >
>> > Not to everyone, but to a lot of bitcoin early adopters, and especially
>> > to a lot of early bitcoin entrepreneurs, bitcoin is a promise. A glimpse
>> > of a better world free from the inequalities brought by our legacy
>> > financial system. So if you fail in bitcoin, it is easy to feel that you
>> > are failing on that promise too.
>> >
>> > I’ve felt that way. Felt that if I screw up I am screwing it up for
>> > every non-profit and charity. That they will somehow not get the
>> > benefits of bitcoin because I failed. I see it in others. Just a week
>> > ago at #Cryptolina I talked with a group of brilliant entrepreneurs who
>> > were convinced that if they didn’t beat an incumbent payment solution to
>> > market, they had lost the war. And that whole segment of the market
>> > would NEVER benefit from cryptocurrency.
>> >
>> > Being a bitcoin entrepreneur is hard.
>> >
>> > And I don’t have the answers to how to deal with all the pressure and
>> > depression that come from doing what we do. But I have learned a couple
>> > of things and maybe someone else that is experiencing depression or
>> > having dark thoughts can read this and gain some value from what I’ve
>> > learned. And even better, maybe someone that has dealt with depression
>> > in the past can riff on what I’ve said and provide some insight into how
>> > they cope.
>> >
>> > 1) You are not alone.
>> >
>> > When you are depressed, it seems like everyone else has it all together
>> > and you are the anomaly. That’s not true. They probably don’t have their
>> > shit together either. And everyone has problems we don’t see. Everyone.
>> >
>> > Some of the greatest entrepreneurs and investors of all time have had
>> > brutal fights with depression and suicidal thoughts.
>> >
>> > READ:
>> >
>> >
>> http://www.inc.com/magazine/201309/jessica-bruder/psychological-price-of-entrepreneurship.html
>> >
>> > 2) Bitcoin needs you and it doesn’t need you. And that’s ok.
>> >
>> > Bitcoin needs you. It really does. But it doesn’t need only you, it
>> > needs all of us. You are not the single point of failure. Bitcoins
>> > success is just a decentralized as the blockchain. So give yourself a
>> > break. It’s ok to make mistakes and it’s ok to fail. It’s even ok to
>> > fail spectacularly.
>> >
>> > Think back to how many times bitcoin has been declared dead. How many
>> > times has the price crashed? How many times has a major bitcoin
>> > institution been corrupted/hacked/found to be a scam?
>> >
>> > And yet, here we are. An you are here too.
>> >
>> > 3) It is ok to ask for help.
>> >
>> > This is hard to learn. We come from a self sufficient culture. And if
>> > you ask for help, people will realize that you are not as awesome as
>> > they thought you were...BULLSHIT. Asking for help has ZERO bearing on
>> > how awesome a person you are. In fact, your friends WANT TO HELP YOU.
>> > Being there for you in a moment of crisis is something your friends are
>> > probably really down for. But if you ignore them or won’t tell them you
>> > are having problems it is really difficult for them to help. Talk to
>> > someone. If all else fails you can always call…
>> >
>> > THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
>> >
>> > I know all of this might not make a difference. When you are caught up
>> > in your head in the middle of a depressive episode nothing seems to
>> > help. Try to find something that you can concentrate on just to get you
>> > thru the worst of it. For me, I go play with my kids. It helps me.
>> > Sometimes more than others.
>> >
>> > If you are feeling down, try to talk to someone. And if you see someone
>> > feeling down, try to lend a supportive ear.
>> >
>> > Bitcoin needs you alive.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
>> > unSYSTEM mailing list: http://unsystem.net
>> > https://mailinglists.dyne.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/unsystem
>> >
>>
>>
>
> --
> Thanks,
>
> Charlie
>
> CharlieShrem.com | *Please **encrypt messages with my PGP key
> <http://charlieshrem.com/contact/>*
>
>
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