I love you Charlie. Can't wait to wreak havoc with you once you're off the
leash again.
On Aug 28, 2014 8:19 AM, "Charlie 'Charles' Shrem" <cshrem@???> wrote:

> I've been battling depression the past few months, hardcore. When they put
> me in solitary I thought my life was over.
>
> I have all of you my friends to thank for keeping my spirits up and
> Bitcoin for giving me a propose. I think back on the good times, eating
> with Amir and Julia on my porch and partying with Jason in Atlanta.
>
> Let the good times roll :)
>
> On Thursday, August 28, 2014, Amir Taaki <genjix@???> wrote:
>
>> I wanted to kill myself over Bitcoinica. It was a very bad moment...
>>
>> On 28/08/14 14:11, Jason King wrote:
>> > For over a week now, I’ve been trying to write a year in review piece
>> > for Satoshi Forest. The words, which usually just flow like a spigot
>> > when I’m passionate about something, seem to just dribble out. And what
>> > little eeks by is hardly print worthy. Maybe it’s just writer’s block?
>> > Writer’s block happens. Or maybe I’m not as passionate about Satoshi
>> > Forest as I used to be?
>> >
>> > But, I am passionate about Satoshi Forest, perhaps more than I ever have
>> > been. And writer’s block, if it is the culprit, cannot explain why I
>> > haven’t responded to Elizabeth Ploshay’s ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, in a
>> > timely fashion. I guess I’ll have to donate now. You see it’s not just
>> > the Satoshi Forest year in review, it’s everything. Emails from friends
>> > I haven’t responded to, phone calls I let go to voicemail, new endeavors
>> > at Sean’s Outpost I let sit unannounced
>> > (http://blockchain.satoshiforest.com/). And then it hits me. I’ve been
>> > here before.
>> >
>> > I’m really depressed.
>> >
>> > And it seems to be going around.
>> >
>> > Since the tragic suicide of Robin Williams, four (4) people close to me
>> > have also tried to kill themselves. One succeeded. An anecdotal survey
>> > of my friends has seen an equal uptick in the number of people talking
>> > about or attempting suicide. It’s been really disturbing.
>> >
>> > In the preparations for the Bitcoin in the Beltway conference this past
>> > June, I had one of the more surreal conversations of my life. An east
>> > coast sales director for Marriott called me wanting to know if bitcoin
>> > was linked to suicide. They had heard of the tragic death of Autumn
>> > Radtke in March
>> > (
>> http://nypost.com/2014/03/06/bitcoin-firm-ceo-jumped-to-her-death-neighbor/
>> )
>> > and were concerned about hosting a conference for a technology that was
>> > making people kill themselves. I was sure he was joking. He was not. The
>> > conversation I had with him must have allayed his fears. #BitcoinBeltway
>> > went great, can’t wait to do it again next year.
>> >
>> > Obviously, bitcoin does not cause suicide. And while we are quick to
>> > sticky a “suicide prevention hotline” when the price crashes, bitcoin is
>> > not causing depression. What we may want to look into is something that
>> > is not bitcoin related, but more something that comes part and parcel
>> > with “bitcoiners”.
>> >
>> > The woes of entrepreneurship and startup culture.
>> >
>> > Being an entrepreneur is fucking hard. Really hard. Most people don’t
>> > even attempt it.
>> >
>> > It might not feel that way to you, but likely that’s because you
>> > surround yourself with other entrepreneurs. Your friends work at
>> > startups. Your trips are to startup conferences and conventions. Your
>> > news feed is r/bitcoin and hacker news. You are firmly in the echo
>> chamber.
>> >
>> > Most people will never try and build a product or company. So most
>> > people will never experience what it is like to fear you won’t make
>> > payroll and someone else will not be able to pay their rent because of
>> you.
>> >
>> > Most people will never know how difficult it is to raise money. To get
>> > someone else to believe in you enough to open their checkbook and
>> > support you financially. The hours you spend and the mental strain that
>> > comes from hearing “No” again and again and again. And if you get a
>> > “Yes” the pressure doesn’t dissipate! It increases! Now it’s your crazy
>> > idea and someone elses money you’re responsible for.
>> >
>> > Being an entrepreneur is really hard.
>> >
>> > And we are really hard on ourselves. We are afraid to show any weakness.
>> > Because we’ve been taught being weak or vulnerable is to be shunned. If
>> > someone asks you how your company is doing “We’re killing. it.” probably
>> > comes off your lips before you’ve even processed the question.
>> >
>> > It is statistically impossible for everyone to always be “killing it”.
>> >
>> > But ask at your next mixer or meetup and almost everyone will be
>> > “killing it”.
>> >
>> > And that pressure to succeed, to perform, to win is immense. And I think
>> > that pressure may be even worse in bitcoin.
>> >
>> > Not to everyone, but to a lot of bitcoin early adopters, and especially
>> > to a lot of early bitcoin entrepreneurs, bitcoin is a promise. A glimpse
>> > of a better world free from the inequalities brought by our legacy
>> > financial system. So if you fail in bitcoin, it is easy to feel that you
>> > are failing on that promise too.
>> >
>> > I’ve felt that way. Felt that if I screw up I am screwing it up for
>> > every non-profit and charity. That they will somehow not get the
>> > benefits of bitcoin because I failed. I see it in others. Just a week
>> > ago at #Cryptolina I talked with a group of brilliant entrepreneurs who
>> > were convinced that if they didn’t beat an incumbent payment solution to
>> > market, they had lost the war. And that whole segment of the market
>> > would NEVER benefit from cryptocurrency.
>> >
>> > Being a bitcoin entrepreneur is hard.
>> >
>> > And I don’t have the answers to how to deal with all the pressure and
>> > depression that come from doing what we do. But I have learned a couple
>> > of things and maybe someone else that is experiencing depression or
>> > having dark thoughts can read this and gain some value from what I’ve
>> > learned. And even better, maybe someone that has dealt with depression
>> > in the past can riff on what I’ve said and provide some insight into how
>> > they cope.
>> >
>> > 1) You are not alone.
>> >
>> > When you are depressed, it seems like everyone else has it all together
>> > and you are the anomaly. That’s not true. They probably don’t have their
>> > shit together either. And everyone has problems we don’t see. Everyone.
>> >
>> > Some of the greatest entrepreneurs and investors of all time have had
>> > brutal fights with depression and suicidal thoughts.
>> >
>> > READ:
>> >
>> >
>> http://www.inc.com/magazine/201309/jessica-bruder/psychological-price-of-entrepreneurship.html
>> >
>> > 2) Bitcoin needs you and it doesn’t need you. And that’s ok.
>> >
>> > Bitcoin needs you. It really does. But it doesn’t need only you, it
>> > needs all of us. You are not the single point of failure. Bitcoins
>> > success is just a decentralized as the blockchain. So give yourself a
>> > break. It’s ok to make mistakes and it’s ok to fail. It’s even ok to
>> > fail spectacularly.
>> >
>> > Think back to how many times bitcoin has been declared dead. How many
>> > times has the price crashed? How many times has a major bitcoin
>> > institution been corrupted/hacked/found to be a scam?
>> >
>> > And yet, here we are. An you are here too.
>> >
>> > 3) It is ok to ask for help.
>> >
>> > This is hard to learn. We come from a self sufficient culture. And if
>> > you ask for help, people will realize that you are not as awesome as
>> > they thought you were...BULLSHIT. Asking for help has ZERO bearing on
>> > how awesome a person you are. In fact, your friends WANT TO HELP YOU.
>> > Being there for you in a moment of crisis is something your friends are
>> > probably really down for. But if you ignore them or won’t tell them you
>> > are having problems it is really difficult for them to help. Talk to
>> > someone. If all else fails you can always call…
>> >
>> > THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
>> >
>> > I know all of this might not make a difference. When you are caught up
>> > in your head in the middle of a depressive episode nothing seems to
>> > help. Try to find something that you can concentrate on just to get you
>> > thru the worst of it. For me, I go play with my kids. It helps me.
>> > Sometimes more than others.
>> >
>> > If you are feeling down, try to talk to someone. And if you see someone
>> > feeling down, try to lend a supportive ear.
>> >
>> > Bitcoin needs you alive.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > _______________________________________________
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>> > https://mailinglists.dyne.org/cgi-bin/mailman/listinfo/unsystem
>> >
>>
>>
>
> --
> Thanks,
>
> Charlie
>
> CharlieShrem.com | *Please **encrypt messages with my PGP key
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